Negative Behavior is Fear

 In Fear

Fear drives all negative behavior. There is a direct correlation between the level of fear a person feels and the intensity of negativity they exhibit in their behaviors. At the heart of the level of fear is a person’s sense of well-being, their self-worth or what I like to call their Okayness. It can be terrifying to have a constant belief that you are Not Okay and that to feel Okay you must rely on external people, places or things. Some people just use negative, self-destructive behaviors, while others commit heinous crimes and acts of violence against others, elevating their power to inflate their own sense of worth and value among others. And unfortunately when a person who requires external Okayness has money and social status, they can do damage to others’ civil rights and human rights almost seamlessly just to keep self-inflating. The worst part of this is that as a society, we turn a blind eye when rich and influential people are engaging in power mongering. The current political environment and the recent outpouring of sexual assault victims show this clearly. Our own fears of “going against” the Alpha in the pack and of being ridiculed can keep us from standing up and speaking up. And rarely do we identify these perpetrators as fearful. Most would say the opposite, that they are overly courageous. But why would a person who thinks highly of him or herself and knows that they have a well-tended Okayness To Go have to rely on power tactics and robbing others of their rights? They would not. These people rely on education, collaboration and skills to be heard and to get their needs met. They can afford to hear everyone’s voice and they can win the day while serving human rights. So the next time you are tempted to use unwarranted power or to suggest that someone who is different than you should not have the same rights as everyone else, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?”

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